Gender-based violence includes sexual assault, sexual abuse, harassment, interpersonal violence, and stalking. These forms of violence can leave survivors feeling overwhelmed and uncertain of how to proceed. These feelings may arise immediately following an incident or any time after- even many years. Sexual/gender-based violence can be perpetrated by people with whom you have very close relationships- strangers, friends, intimate partners, even family members. Gender-based violence happens in a vast array of scenarios. It could have happened when you were a child or a teenager, when you were drinking or at a party, on a date, at home, in the library, out with friends, or at a family gathering. Wherever you were, whatever you were doing, and whomever you were with, nonconsensual sexual acts are never OK.

Whether you know exactly what happened or are confused and struggling with how to define it, staff at the Dartmouth Counseling Center are here to support you.

The Counseling Center staff all have training in working with survivors of trauma and will work closely with you to help figure out what you need. Counselors can answer questions you may have about your reporting options, medical services, and other resources that are available to you. They will not tell you what to do, but rather help you figure out what YOU want to do moving forward. Some ways that counselors may support you include helping you to review your options, process experiences, regain a sense of purpose, restore a sense of safety, and develop coping strategies to manage emotions. The Counseling Center is a confidential resource- meaning that your information will be strictly protected under both laws and ethics (exceptions to this involve reporting obligations for minors – if you're under 18- or if you disclose that you are at risk of severely harming yourself or others. 

To schedule an appointment, call the Counseling Center at 603-646-9442, or stop by between 8:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. If you are comfortable sharing that you would like to talk about an experience related to gender-based violence, our office staff will work with you to get the soonest available appointment with one of our gender-based violence specialists and enable you to bypass the initial Triage appointment. 

24/7/365 Crisis Services

There is no universal way that people feel after experiencing trauma. However, some common responses include:

• Shame
• Guilt
• Anger
• Loneliness/Isolation
• Feeling unsafe
• Feeling emotionally blunted or emotionally out of control
• Difficulty with concentration
• Difficulty staying motivated
• Increased sexual behavior or drug and alcohol use
• Depression and/or anxiety
• Flashbacks or nightmares

When you know or suspect that your friend or family member has experienced sexual violence, you may feel helpless or uncertain of what to do or say. We recognize that this can feel overwhelming to you, and we want to give you some suggestions for how you can support someone who shares with you that they have experienced gender-based violence.

DO

• Listen with compassion and practice non-judgment.
• Remain calm- even if you feel emotional (which is normal) it’s important for you to stop yourself from becoming too activated.
• Understand that everyone responds differently to trauma. While there are some common responses, every survivor is unique.
• Know that there are options and share those options and resources while ensuring you empower them to be in control of their own choices.
• Share with them that you are there for them and let them know you want to support them however you can.
• Stay hopeful. This is something that they will be able to heal from in their own time. Trust their resilience and capacity.
• Remain patient. There is no universal timeline for recovery, and the process often isn’t linear.

DON’T

• Judge, scold, criticize, blame or try to teach them how to be “safer”.
• Over emote or “freak out”. Make sure the focus is on the survivor’s emotions. (But do take care of your own emotions by identifying your own support and resources.)
• Ask about details or ask them to talk about it if they didn’t bring it up.
• Tell them what to do, what you would do, or what you think they should do. Never insist on reporting or force them to get treatment.
• Share information without permission- but DO seek your own confidential emotional support.
• Believe that their life is ruined or they are irreparably damaged.
• Minimize the assault by saying things like, “it could have been worse” or “at least it wasn’t…”

Some survivors of sexual violence can experience extreme distress. If you are worried that they are feeling suicidal or thinking about causing harm to themselves, please know there is help available and, in this instance, you SHOULD reach out.

GET HELP NOW

Dartmouth Title IX Office publishes a list of all available campus resources on their Sexual Respect Website

WISE Local and Campus Advocacy- 1-866-348-9473 (24/7) campus@wiseuv.org

National Resources

National Sexual Assault Hotline: (800) 656-4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233 (voice); (800) 787-3224 (TTY)

The Network/La Red (LGBTQIA focus with Spanish Language options) 617-742-4911 (24/7 hotline)

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Culture of Respect: Ending Campus Sexual Violence

Know Your IX

Stalking Resource Center

1 in 6 (Sexual Abuse and Assault of Boys and Men)